I Kill Vampires that SPARKLE!
by JediKnightNightTerra
Summary: Alucard meets the overly gay, brooding, sparkly vampire in Italy who is contemplating suicide. Oh what will happen? Hilarity insues. Based off a picture I drew of Alucard laughing. M for naughty vampire servant Bella.


Die Another Day

Summary: Alucard meets the overly gay, brooding, sparkly vampire in Italy who is contemplating suicide. Oh what will happen? Hilarity insues. Based off a picture I drew of Alucard laughing.

Alucard was trying to keep to the shadows as much as possible. In front of him, a large crowd of celebrating humans were standing around doing their little celebrating thing. He was not happy to do a mission in the daylight, for he "burned" too easily. Beside him, a young man walked up and began to unbutton his collar shirt.

The thoughts of this sad soul were easy to read. It was mostly:

Death…

Bella…

Death…

Food…

Death…

Bella…

Bella…

Bella…

Bella…

'Suicide…The easy way out. It makes me sick. This kid is too-'

"Say," Alucard cleared his throat the way humans do. "Are you by any chance…A vampire? Edward Cullen…"

Edward looked up at him. He could hardly read this mysterious figure's mind. And how he knew what and who he was, he'd love to know. But whatever the reason, he had to answer. "Yes."

Alucard smiled widely. "So you are. Who is this 'Bella' girl I see in your primitive little mind?" He held back his menacing chuckle. Edward looked sad. "It doesn't matter anymore. She's dead, so I must die as well…"

Alucard pulled out his gun and pointed it at him. "Maybe I can arrange that…"

Bella came out of the crowd. She stared in horror at the sight of her beloved Edward about to be slaughtered by a creepy man clad in red. "EDWARD NO!" She screamed.

Alucard's smile grew bigger. "So she ISN'T dead…" He started to laugh his usual maniac laugh. "The usual Romeo and Juliette fiasco. Too bad its going to end by my hand."

Edward made a dash for it. Alucard laughed at his feeble attempt to run. "You need to watch this, human. You might find it VERY entertaining."

With that, Alucard consumed Bella with him as he disappeared into a dark mass.

Edward stopped. He was in some kind of courtyard. It was deserted…Until…

"Poor little Cullen…" A voice sounded. It was a distant, menacing voice that he knew all too well. He turned around and said, "Aro!"

A black cloaked figure removed his hood. "So sad you have to go against HIM." Aro commented. "He is virtually unstoppable, for he is a night crawler. The FIRST and STRONGEST of all. He is after you, he will kill you, and he will do what he wants with that girl you are so fond of. You can't escape him."

A loud, evil laugh rang out. "Aro, I will mostly turn this girl into a vampire herself. She has chosen it. It is done."

A glob of darkness formed; and Alucard appeared with a limp girl in his arms. Edward growled angrily and tried to charge at him, but he got kicked away. "What have you done to her?" He yelled. Alucard shrugged. "Took pity. Something I don't normally do. She was pure…enough to become one such as I, so I bit her. She was literally asking for it anyway." He started to laugh and mock Bella's voice. "Oh, please! You're a vampire! Turn me! I want to live forever and ever with Edward! I want to sparkle all pretty and kill animals with my teeth! On second thought I want YOU! You are sooo much hotter than Edward! Take me man meat!"

Edward's jaw dropped. "You didn't-"

Alucard shook his head. "Nah, I just bit her…"

Something latched around his waist and began to unbutton his pants. Alucard looked down and sighed. "Cullen, get your "rape much?" girlfriend away from me. She's bugging me."

Edward was too shocked to move. Alucard pulled Bella's hands away from him and walked closer to the light. He buttoned his pants back up and looked down at the girl. "Master, I want you." She said. Alucard's eye twitched. "Folks, this is the disadvantages to being the No Life King." he muttered.

Aro laughed uncontrollably. Alucard smiled. "Cullen? By the way…" He pointed his gun at Edward. "I kill vampires that SPARKLE."

With that, he shot Edward, then Aro. They both burst into flames and Alucard started to laugh again. Bella slithered her arms around his waist again. "Oh Master…You're such an animal…"

Alucard shot her in the head. "I know that." he said without an ounce of emotion. He walked off into the sunset with his fedora and odd sunglasses on.

Meanwhile…

Bella shook her head and sat up. "Master? Where are you?"

Uh-oh. Bella didn't die! What will she do? What would Alucard do? Oh well. We'll find out in my next fanfic. Now review dammit.

Review…D:


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